Jun 1, 2005

advertising obfuscation crap

The Yoplait yogurt ads confuse me. When women on the TV* say their yogurt is "soap opera good" or "day at the spa good" I have no idea what that means. Soap opera characters always die, come back to life, and cheat on their wives or something right? And what goes on at a spa? Pubic-hair waxing? These don't inspire yogurty thoughts in my mind. I need them to sell it to me in no uncertain terms. "Yoplait is stab your cellmate with a shiv for stealing your underwear good". Then I'll know what they're talking about. Well no, I won't actually. But I could imagine! "Mmm. Underwear." Wait!! I meant, "Mmm. Stabbing."
*old people always call it 'the TV' rather than 'TV' right?

I also noticed supermarkets selling a new variety of Friendly's® ice cream. I think it's dubbed Extreme but it might possibly be Xtreme. Regardless, I was trying to comprehend what made this particular ice cream so wild. First, there's a cartoon skater on the carton. Radical! Second, and probably most important, they spell cookie "kookie". That's extreme!!!

The latest Hummer the TV commercial shows an empty, metered, parking spot and a Hummer that actually parallel parks and fits into the very same spot! Wow!! I hear rumors Lenscrafters will soon begin a new ad campaign marketing eyeglasses that actually CORRECT YOUR VISION! No joke!

And lastly:

This is very honest/deceitful of the marketers depending on your viewpoint. But why stop there? How about ads like: "Big Mac. The world's tastiest** hamburger."
Or: "Saturn Vue. One helluva car". The possibilities are endless§!
**not on your life
†wrong, wrong, wrong
§the possibilities are NOT endless

12 comments:

보보 said...

i'm a girl, but i don't get that particular yoplait yogurt ad either. however, i did buy a box of yoplait yogurt cuz they said it helps you burn fat faster. (i know it's crap. it's just my excuse to buy an entire box of yoplait so that i can eat it all! =D )

Violet said...

Using "extreme" to sell anything is so pre-millennium.

Rainypete said...

I don't view advertising as a marketing tool. It's so chock full of misinformation that it's more of an entertainment source than anything. It's always interesting to see what they'll try next to drum up business.

Well I'm off to buy some yogurt that a guy in a lab coat said will make my job more satisfying and improve my health while allowing me to park my Ford Expedition in compact car spots all while imroving my financial independance.

Anonymous said...

"Yoplait is stab your cellmate with a shiv for stealing your underwear good" Ha ha, too funny! I like the stuff but the ads are dumb.
Hmmm, what exactly would "Xtreme" ice cream be? Ice chips from glaciers with goat cream or something.
We have several Hummers in town (the local hospital is giving them to new doctors for recruitment purposes!) and they don't parallel park, just take up half the block or park in loading zones.
blue2go

Sara said...

Old people also refer to Wal-Mart as "the Wal-Mart", and so on. At what age does that beginning happening, the insertion of definite articles? Do you know of any studies?

Martini Love said...

Soap opera good wtf?? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.. that makes me not want to eat it! Oh and there are Xtreme EVERYTHING ... why I don't get it.. its so funny. I have XTREME toothpaste and XTREME make-up its all so dumb to me!!

Happy and Blue 2 said...

"The post" made me laugh. I like those ***marks and the tiny numbers that lead you to the disappointing truth at the end of "the advertisements."..

sumo said...

Yoplait yogurt is way too sweet for me, uh...so I don't eat it. How's that for "extreme"?

L said...

if something is "soap opera good" then it obviously sucks

I am the lizard queen said...

I think they're referring to the sort of spa that uses yogurt to dull the pain of the pubic hair waxing.

Annoying though everything being "X-treme!!!", is, I still prefer it to the watered down rap that found its way into every ad a few years ago. Mad props to middle-aged middle-class advertising executives for hitting the urban youth demographic so spot on.

Mr Anigans said...

i hear it's good to eat yogurt after you have had an enema. (something to so with replenishing bacteria) do they enema in spas? do they call it colonics?

i'd like some yogurt that's get a new job good.

Kevin said...

I like to put a the before everything. I refer to my girlfriend that way. "How's the Bucket?" (I call her Bucket) I seemed to be the only person who thought that it was a gut buster. It's always the TV. I am on a mission to preserve the vernacular of the generation before the last generation. Thank you for your support.