Jun 10, 2005

I've been so blog-neglectful

Alas. I've been busy jobhunting and it sucks a big, hard nut. Perhaps a cashew, you perv.

In the entire history of those 'celebrity house tour' shows has there ever been a case, when the camera crew entered the bedroom, where the celebrity forgot to say, "this is where the magic happens"? Just once I'd like to see the home owner then lean forward and pull a nickel out from behind the cameraman's ear. And not just any nickel, one of those 1913 Liberty head nickels cuz they're rare so I'd know it was truly magic. Alternately the famed one could pull out a silk top hat and cape and saw someone in half on the condition that it wasn't magic and the person couldn't be put back together. Just do something different, please. The mundane begets violence afterall.

And I am still adding others' blogs into my sidebar. Apologies to Cbear, Kevin, and Sumo for only now getting around to it.

11 comments:

Sara said...

Best wishes with your cashew. If only you could get paid for writing damn funny blog posts. Then you would be set to have all the slushies/slurpies/mr. misties in the world and more.

Martini Love said...

They are all sheep I tell ya'

good luck on the job hunt!

katie said...

Job hunting is such a bore. Hope you find something you want soon.
As for the whole "This is where the magic happens" I'm with you. I would pay good money to see one of them say, "This is my bedroom. Nobody ever comes in here, as I am filthy rich but can't even find a call girl to sleep with me". That would be amazing.

Violet said...

good luck with job hunting. What is it you do for a living anyway?

Happy and Blue 2 said...

Yes, get a job for goodness sake.
I would like to see one where the celebrity says "This is where I suffer from premature ejaculation"

glomgold said...

sara-wouldn't that be nice? I guess they wouldn't have to pay much either since slurpees are so cheap.
martinilove-they are. rich sheep. damn!
katie-I just hope to find something soon. period! I would accept that comment by them as well.
violet-I'm a pseudo computer nerd looking for IT networking stuff. I had a dream I accepted a "custodial engineer" job though cleaning up shit. That's not a good sign!
HB2-That would be beyond hilarious and in a weird way, would make me respect that celeb much more.
blue2go-What's funny is I just watched special features on the 'Incredibles' DVD and Sarah Vowell mentioned the whole celebrity 'making magic' comment too! Maybe she'll give me work...

Kevin said...

no apologies needed, as I now have to make sure I go home and do some updates myself. I always forget that shit, you know? I've also been thinking about the John Goodman thing since I read your post. in a related note, I would like to nominate Randy Newman as the antichrist for writing the same song 326 times and then singing it with John Goodman in a damned cartoon even after having seen the Blues Brothers 2000. See, The universe swells with evidence for the absence of god.

L said...

good luck on the job hunt! but you sound more cheerful without one...

sumo said...

Thank you so much for "mocks the fool" it is a real compliment...wink...wink!

Rainypete said...

Thank god for the cashew reference, I was afraid you'd found some new lurid work!

You expect originality?! From stars no less?! I'd love to hear one say "This is where I'd bring someone if they ever came by"

Maurice Mitchell said...

I know! There's too things they always say, "This is where the magic happens" and "I like to have fruit" when they open their carefully organized fridge.
I'd add the "get out" comment at the end, but my wife informed me that's a tradition.