You devil(dog), you!

The ache in his heart pained him so; it hurt like a great big hurty thing. His stomach grumbled in a way that screamed "mutiny!!" and he was left short of breath and gasping for air in the manner of a grossly overweight snack food afficionado who has just received his latest subscription copy of "Hostess Cupcakes Gone Wild, 2". As he released, from multitudinous orifices, a cornucopia of fragrant emissions that would do 'Olaf the Ever-Pungent' proud, or at the very least send the DMV inspection station examiners home to their mamas crying, "I can no longer smell the aroma of onions", he turned to face the setting sun (or whichever direction was upwind), shook his fist with the strength he could muster and vowed, "As god is my witness never again, Taco Bell! Never again" then dropped to his knees, head in hands, knowing full well that would never be the case.