Dick Pump

That was the name of my roommate my freshman year of college. Well, not quite, but his real initials were D.P. and within the first few days of school he announced to our floor that he "owned a penis pump that he kept locked in a safe-deposit box in the bank" and he "brought it out for use with his girlfriend". Now, this story of his is wrong for oh so many reasons (this was prior to Austin Powers and he was not a funny person anyway so it was not some sort of movie reference either). The logic behind why he'd volunteer such a tale is beyond me but you can see why we referred to this stocky, pimply, grasoso fellow as DP, Dick Pump, the Pump, etc. He was just one of those insufferably annoying people and I sent him packing down the hall. His new roommate subsequently committed suicide and whether these events are related I cannot say.