Guitar Center store drum dept. sales clerks suffer what must be akin to the agony of everlasting hellfire. Ok, there's no pitchforks nor anal fisting but it's pretty damn bad. Parents bring in their 5 year olds to bang the shit out of anything they lay a stick on. Hey that's like the catholic priest credo of "parents bring in your 5 year olds I'll bang the shit out of them with my stick". (Whee!! Cheap shot/cheap humor, Jay Leno style).
Older customers must have studied at the musical conservatory "Fortissimo on up". They play at one level only: pound-til-someone's-ears-bleed. "Why yes, I'd love to hear you play that Nirvana drumbeat ad nauseum. I SAID I'D LOVE TO HEA..." It's the world's loudest pissing contest. If patrons in the woodwind section behaved this way they'd blow their anal sphincters right through the seat of their pants. Luckily there is no woodwind section.
On the plus side I've located two fantastic-sounding (I think, was tough to hear) economically-viable snare drums that will one day be mine! A clear acrylic Pork Pie PigLite (I know. Acrylic, weird right? But it sounds like a champ!)
and a Pearl ebony mist Firecracker. Fan-fucking-tastic!
(Mo Williams with 23 pts??!! Nets get your goddamned defense together!!!)
Nov 3, 2005
Hell on earth
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12 comments:
Wow, I've never seen the use of anal fisting used in such class! beautifuly done!
That's hacks it! Next time I'm in the music shop I'm grabbing a trumpet and blasting the hell out of those percussion abusing twits. Naught like a high-C blasted two inches from your ear hole to make you drop the sticks.
get the pink sparkly pork pie thing! sorry snare.
I'll give those little fuckers a run for their money, with my (um) skillz
xxB
wow. they really got you riled up. that was a spitting post. i appreciate your smart mocking of jay leno.
chemoflava- welcome, I see you "like longs walks on the beach" as well. Please be sure to completely disassociate that last sentence with the "anal fisting" talk.
rainypete- wow that might be the one thing that could make it even more unpleasant for the salesperson.
boudica- I am not macho enough to use a pink sparkly one!
thulsa- yeah, that sucks
sara- hee hee! making fun of Leno is always fun
I can only assume that you made the obligatory Leno head bobble when you hit the punch line.
Parents who allow this behavior should be rewarded by store employees coming into their homes and banging on pots and pans for hours at a time. It only seems fair.
Nope children should not be allowed there.
I'm going on the record as a vote for the pork pie. I've had very bad luck with Pearl in the past, mostly because I play drums like A.C. Slater from Saved By The Bell. It's been months since I played a guitar that you can plug in and more and more I'm really sensitive to loud music.
On a side note, I've referenced anal fisting with the eloquence of Cole Porter having a light lunch with Audrey Hepburn. I've even imagined fisting in that scenario.
I hear you...I'm an oboe tooting snob, so naturally I'd be pissed at that.
They should have soundproof rooms.
I always thought that music store employees were snooty. Maybe they just keep their noses in the air because their ears are bleeding..
Just blogging for a while, my site is also about buy dw drums, so just saying hi.
Charles
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