When you're feeling too big and full of yourself just remember: the world is not your oyster. You are a wad of dirty bubblegum clinging to the sole of earth's shoe. A "god-fucking-dammit!" and scrape away from nothingness. When you are feeling insignificant and down on yourself, well, I don't know what to tell you because nothing has changed in the last eighteen seconds. Oh, and soccer-mamas, don't think yer foolin' anyone by sticking the word Sport at the end of Caravan. It's still just a big, burgundy, ribbon-adorned hunk of 'blocking my view'. But I still like you more than your Titan-sized SUV contemporaries.
On occasion I will grace this page with cereal recommendations.
today's choice: Malt-O-Meal CocoRoos. They be tasty and the only way you could make a cheaper bowl of CocoaPuff wannabes would be to venture into the backyard and scoop yourself a pile of deer droppings. "two scoops!"
(in summation: thumbs up to CocoRoos, thumbs down to deer droppings)
Feb 16, 2005
"The very stone one kicks with one's boot will outlast Shakespeare"
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10 comments:
I am switching from deer droppings to CocoRoos this very day not that it really matters anyways since I am nothing more than the future dust in someones eye...
yum to the cereal... yuck to the SUVs-- I'm surrounded by them (including a ton of Hummers) where I live.
"It's still just a big, burgundy, ribbon-adorned hunk of 'blocking my view'."
Great concise description. I got behind one this morning, extra big, patriot ribbon on the right side. Stopped way too soon for the school bus--we both could have gone instead of waiting. Then waited too long after the light turned green--was it meditating? I'm not even a Jersey asshole driver. When it pulled onto 287 in front of me, I swung quickly around it and looked the driver in the face. Old trollish woman. Then a jeep pulled in front of me going slow in the fast lane. Swung around her when finally I could see there was nobody in front slowing her down, looked her in the face: middle-age woman wearing a headset. I want a hovercraft.
(Sorry. I guess I needed to get that out.)
hb2: I'm glad you switched b/c the droppings aren't nutritional though probably lo-carb.
joe: Wow. I mean, I fly into short fits of pure rage in the car, and go chasing after people, but I've never actually damaged my car! I'm usually nice and let people in front of me, except luxury cars, but I might stymie SUVs now too.
L: Do you live in Afghanistan? Cuz otherwise, pffft to those cars!
Sara: Whenever I get to see a slow/erratic driver's face it's always an old fart or a phone talker. Only once was it some guy smoking dope.
i don't eat cereal. it's like it's designed to remove ten layers of skin from your gums with every bite.
Ooooh you're a smartass! I like it!
It wasn't a Nintendo commercial...you see what a huge impact the "product" made on me...
I'll think of it eventually. Like your blog.
So yeah, I'm feeling no love for the Malt-O'Meal Marshmallow Mateys. Hello. A. Big. Fucking. Bag. Of. Inexpensive. Lucky Charms.
For the price of a tiny box of Lucky Charms, you get a sleeping bag sized love nest of the cereal bits with their pirate friends, the Mateys. Is heaven close right now, because just thinking about this makes me feel like God is in the room.
over.
I do love knock-off cereals. My favorite is the knock-off of "Captain Crunch". Which is my all-time favorite cereal. The names of fake cereals kill me.
They try so hard to name is close to the original without getting sued. Like "Cheery-Os" or "Marshmellow Mateys". Laugh and move along I say.
Shark: Ice Cream Cones cereal was designed to do that. It was like those Bugles snacks only in milk.
Amanda: Thanks, and lemme know what that commercial is. Now I'm curious.
Alli: Marshmallow Mateys is a'ight. But CocoRoos is the way to be! It may look like CocoPuffs but tastes like Count Chocula sans marshmallows. If I could only find those kinds of marshmallows to throw in, well, I shudder to think.
Maurice: I used to like normal Cap'n Crunch but then I got all sick in elementary school and puked it everywhere (it's a story my friends still like to recall). It's a pretty sad day when companies are making knockoffs of Malt-o-Meal.
Some blogs are just too powerful.
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