If you're attempting to crack into the lucrative rap market and need a song penned, consider my braggadocious sample below:
earn* ten figures like storage for close to a dozen cremated people
so popular Hollywood's got Jet Li playing me in a sequel
or 2, or 3, skip the original movie believe me I'm pulling weight
comtemplate a freight train loaded with sumo wrestlers and their dinner dates
*urn. A homonym. Whee!!
You'd be required to be an Asian male otherwise the lyrics won't work. I will not compromise my art for anyone!! (fist shaking in the air). In addition to the fine wordsmithing I will throw down a simple, phat 4/4 Dr. Dre style beat and sample an Isley Brothers song mixed with some Bob Marley played back in cut time and a different key. I will also hire a "rival" entourage to open fire at yours thus securing your credibility.
From your one-hit wonder I will accumulate fame and a small fortune in royalties, retire, and then purchase a tiny island in the Far East. After living in this Pacific paradise for approx. 2 months it will be inundated by a low-level typhoon. My bungalow will be no match for the elements and I will be washed to sea where, during the most frightful night of my life, I will empty my bowels repeatedly and then drown lonely & terrified. Quite soon thereafter my floating carcass will be preyed upon by small sharks and an occasional unforgiving seagull. When the authorities fish my half-eaten, bloated, sunburnt body from the waters two days hence they'll initially stare in dismay. As one is checking my pockets for a wallet (it would contain no money should you even find one, good sir) the other will avert his gaze muttering, "his beats SUCKED! I could've written that shit". Maybe so my man. Maybe so.
7 comments:
But when you die you will become a legend... everyone does. So, you're story may seem sad,but you will be more famous then ever even if half the sea creatures now have you resting in their stomachs.
Martini is absolutely right. The only way to achieve superstardom anymore is to either make a total ass of yourself cosntantly (although your appeal will eventually fade) or diea tragic death, all the bette rif it is lonely. You'll become an icon and your music will be revered forever.
comtemplate a freight train loaded with sumo wrestlers and their dinner dates
pure gold man
hehehe. Braggadocious.
you're so descriptive...very funny.
Uh...what was that about sumo wrestlers?
The price of fame seems a tad high..
You're the second coming of the rapper Jin man. Like the sequel part especially...
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