"Hmm... Colon Blow. Sounds delicious."

Thulsa Doom is back! Christians couldn't keep him down. Like non-refridgerated, month-old Deviled Eggs in an ipecac marinade.

So I'm really excited for the new Georgia Aquarium. The marquee attraction will be 2 whale sharks!! Though small at only 13 ft. each, the alternative is never seeing any. It's a good reason to return to Atlanta. Last time there I saw jack & shit because of the co-worker whore with me on my business trip. I recall getting lost on about 2 dozen roads all named Peachtree-something and the strumpet doing no work but taking credit for everything I did. Sweet. I already missed the great white in temporary captivity at Monterey Bay but I'll rectify that by going shark cage-diving. Tuff talk from a poor-swimming chump afraid of deep water but it's one of only a few things on my life's to-do list. I'll save it for when I'm closer to death else I'll have nothing to look forward to. Or I can settle for this.

Reviews of the mundane: cereal
Wuzzat you holler? "Where's our beloved Cereal Review Classix?!" Put down the torches & cudgels and let that witch go. Fear not, it's still here only better than ever! Going forward, all mundane product reviews will fall under this new umbrella, streamlining and facilitating the synergizing of strategic thrusts. GodHasWheels' mission statement is to integrate not granulate, to deliver the best content-specific blahbity blah blah bullshit. Whatever.

Ok, today's cereal is: Back to Nature's Organic Apple Cinnamon Harvest
Well, it's not much to look at. If after a blustery autumn day one were to gather apple orchard detritus and put it in a bowl, you get the idea. Organic indeed! Plus the bag was a sonofabitch to open but this cereal smells great. It's comprised of oats, dried cinnamon apple slices, flakes (wood shavings?), and puffed rice that looks like kibble. It's sweetened with cane sugar & fruit juices and tastes delicious, though the texture's a bit odd. You could be chewing on its gristle for hours. That's because there's 11grams of fiber per normal serving. That's practically half the fiber one needs PER DAY! Normally I eat 3 or 4 bowls of cereal per sitting but this stuff reminds me of Phil Hartman's Saturday Night Live "Super Colon Blow" cereal ad so I just stuck with the one. Give it a shot. It really tastes good and ain't too pricy either. Plus it should last awhile unless you're a glutton for potty punishment.