May 26, 2005

"In the yeeeaar two thouuusand (and ten)"...

Before the decade's out I predict:

  1. The Catholic Church will release a line of women's underwear brand-named "Ooooo, Miles Standish!"

  2. I will trade in my Nissan for one of those George Jetson flying suitcase jobbers.

  3. Paula Abdul songs will be back in vogue.

  4. Scientists will learn the moon really IS made of cheese. But it's not green. It's Lindberger. Peeyoo! (sp?)

  5. Schwarzenegger's next catchphrase will be "Dadgum, Elvis wasn't kidding".

  6. Christopher Reeve will walk again!

  7. In a surprise upset Motley Crue will win the Nobel Peace Prize. "(Jimmy Carter) don't go away mad, just go away".

  8. Iraqis will create a weeklong Muslim holiday dedicated to G.W. Bush, praising him for plunging their country into civil war. It will be celebrated with Carvel Cookiepuss ice cream cakes and by playing kick the can. What a great game! Nothing sez democracy like hiding, then running around and kicking a can.

  9. Sears Roebuck's BC5000 (Baby Cloner Five Thousand) will be the top Christmas gift 3 years running!

  10. Cats will only have three legs. Bank on it.

Some of these may be a little far-fetched but when you've got the vision, you've got the vision! "Blowing kisses in the wind, waiting waiting waiting..."

C'mon, tell me, what do you foresee?

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Standard sleepwear will be one-legged trousers,('rousers'),which wake the wearer time for work each morningwith a delicate electric shock to the buttocks.

Rainypete said...

I don't think most of that's far fetched. Not nuless you consider the Paula Abdul thing, then maybe ......

Anonymous said...

Wow, too funny. Especially poor old Christopher Reeves as a zombie!
blue2go

Martini Love said...

If I ever see a cat with 3 legs... I will fun.. that shit freaks me out. I can't see into the future like you though..maybe it will come to me later!

Sara said...

Your predictions cover all, I think. I've spoken before of laughing out loud alone in my office as a marker of real humor. Each one of these got me. I was so monstrously loud, they brought a stretcher in from downstairs. I've been sedated. Thanks.

katie said...

You are hilarious.

And for what it's worth- my neighbors have two 3 legged cats (I don't know how they got that way, they adopt special needs animals). The creepy part: they are both missing the same leg. Yikes. I refer to them as Tri and Pod. Their names are betsy and leonard.

glomgold said...

Holy sweet mother mary my predictions are already coming true!!! Thanks katie you've brightened my day.
Those are hospital buffoons you work with Sara. Don't they know laughter is the best medicine?
I like that 'rousers' idea Mr./Mrs. Anonymous

glomgold said...

Anonymous, show yourself so that I may heap praise your way.
Rainypete-that is probably the least likely of the bunch.
blue2go-would you be frightened of a zombified Christopher Reeve, if he were still paralyzed?
martinilove-you won't have to run too fast.

Anonymous said...

I dunno. I'm too excited over the George Jetson suitcase flyer to think straight!

L said...

at least one of your predictions is already true-- i've seen a three legged cat :)

Violet said...

Isn't Christopher Reeve dead?

sumo said...

I'm still laughing over the Carvel Cookiepuss ice cream...I must have some NOW!

Happy and Blue 2 said...

I predict that men will take over the role that women have traditionally held and women will rule the world before the end of the next millenium.
If I'm wrong it's because of the free will that humans were mistakingly given..

Frally said...

You are freakin'hilarious! I hope those all come true.

Kevin said...

I can be ok with anything that comes as long as there's a Van Halen with some singer or other.

glomgold said...

Suzi-I do wonder if the suitcase will still weigh the same as the car in which case I won't be carrying it anywhere.
L-I can't believe how many 3 legged cats people have seen already.
Violet-He sure is!
Sumo-I actually never got a chance to try one. It's sad, I know.
HB2-Free will was definitely a bad mistake but it seems a lot of people have relinquished it.
Frally-thank you. I hope so too. I have money riding on 'em.
Kevin-I'm sure you'll be able to rest easy then. (Gary Cherone probably should've stuck with Nuno Bettencourt! I wonder if people view him as Yoko Ono-y)

Anonymous said...

No, because I could outrun him, unless he snuck up while I was sleeping. Yikes!

I think your predictions are coming true.
blue2go

Rainypete said...

As for my predictions, the line between so called realtiy TV and reality itself will blur until we actaully decide the bulk of our decisions in a vote. Nobody gets fired they're voted off the job.

As a result there will be shows about people actually making decisions of their own and not tryin to con those around them to win the big prize. This will largely be dismissed as fiction and will be pre-empted for more "Idol" shows.

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