May 6, 2005

Hair. Failure!

What's the story with ingrown hairs? They should be able to figure out for themselves how to break through skin. During a hair's "life" there is but one necessary accomplishment; protruding through the skin's surface. Everything else is gravy. Get on the ball you guys!

Cereal Review: Kashi Go Lean Crunch
Imagine if you will, Neolithic Man sitting in his cave eating Honey Smacks© from a crude, stone bowl. Picture him only finishing half of the cereal and leaving the rest to petrify until our modern day. That approximates the Go Lean Crunch experience. It tastes pretty good but you'd better have had your fluoride treatments and daily calcium supplements. Otherwise a bowl of this stuff will leave you looking like a Detroit Red Wings defenseman; ugly and gaptoothed.
Plus, what's with the dumb name?

8 comments:

Sara said...

I think often of the bane of ingrown hairs. Personifying those hairs as you do is only right. And I hope it makes them feel like the failures they are.

Anonymous said...

You'd think those hairs would have some sort of boot camp or orientation, "up up, grow up"

I actually like Kashi Go Lean Crunch, but it's not the cereal to be eating if you're in a hurry!
blue2go

Adrienne said...

They are hairs that have fallen off the beaten path otherwise they'd be poking thru the skin to annoy me with all the rest of them.

Watch what you say about my RedWings man.....:)

Anonymous said...

Okay, when it comes to food, I have steel will power. Seriously. I haven't had sugary treats in over a year, no desserts, no candy, no cookies. . .you get the picture. However, when it comes to Kashi GoLean Crunch, I lose all control of myself. I think there is something highly addictive in it, probably crack, as I cannot make myself stop eating it. I eat it like it's my job to eat it. It's the most delicious cereal in the history of breakfast-in-a-bowl. For that reason, I don't even buy it anymore.

Violet said...

But isn't the ingrowing thing a retaliation for you not shaving in the right direction?

Mr Anigans said...

i'd no idea that you ate so much cereal. never even heard of kashi go lean crunch

L said...

your cereal reviews are interesting.... I've never even heard of half of them

glomgold said...

I guess lessons have been learned here. Don't speak ill of Kashi and don't shave against the grain. Too bad I discovered this a bit too late.