May 16, 2005

"He doesn't like you. I don't like you either."

With so much recent talk concerning North Korea and Iran possibly possessing nuclear weaponry, George W. Bush was asked at a weekend press conference to provide a status report on the multi-multi-billion dollar Star Wars Strategic Defense Initiative. Bush replied, "I believe everyone's well aware that it'll be ready by May 19th. I've received no news regarding the X-wing fighters but I wouldn't have endorsed the reactivizazate, the reactificatio..., the restartin' of this plan if I wasn't excited about seeing a Death Star soon. That thing's awesome! But for this kinda money there really needs to be more Jar Jar Binks. I love that little fella."

When asked by a puzzled audience whether he might be confusing the SDI program with the impending Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith film release, Bush stood agape for 2 minutes before pulling a replica laser blaster from his side and pretending to fire into the crowd making fake "psheww, psheww" laser noises. He then proceeded to dive into what appeared to be a nearby garbage chute but which was, in actuality, just a dumpster at the neighboring Wawa's convenience mart. Security agents quickly pulled him from the refuse.

11 comments:

L said...

wow... he sounds smarter than usual

Maurice Mitchell said...

Very well done man. And very funny.
After his little dance session in Russia, who knows what the mans capable of.

Rainypete said...

The thought of Bush with a Death Star is more terrifying than the concept of the Sith actually existing. I'd take Darth Vader before Bush anyday. At least you know where you stand with him. He's evil and that's that. Bush is all over the map.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, that's great!
blue2go

Sara said...

you should write a book of these mockeries.

i hope you're convalescing...

Anonymous said...

That's a classic.

I ALMOST wanted to believe it...

Almost..

OK.. I did believe it..

But I googled it and couldn't find anything, so I guess you just made it up.

You did just make it up, right?

katie said...

I agree with Sara, I hope you are keeping these.
Once again I am cracking up.

Happy and Blue 2 said...

LOL, in a Canadian, non commital way..

sumo said...

Blue2go commented to me that I'd be interested in your Bush post...she was right! You're...uh...sense of humor is great...but I'm sure I that goes without saying. I'm a Bush basher and a government conspiracy under every rock person. Do you give clever lessons?...I could sure use some!

Martini Love said...

ewww George Bush ... your posts kick booty :)

glomgold said...

Yes, it was all just a lie. But not far out of the realm of possibility right? Scary.
Hi Sumo, thanks for dropping by. Gotta run.