Hypothetically

Now let's say, hypothetically, I 'accidentally' bumped into an old lady today and knocked her to the ground and spilled all her groceries. Then, hypothetically, rather than helping her up, I laughed at her, mocked her hunchback, and played a game of kick the can with her (now dented) strained peas. And as if that weren't enough, perhaps I decided to pick up her dentures and do a quick little three-cornered hat dance while pretending that those false teeth were actually castanets. And finally, maybe I happened to swipe her tube of Maximum Strength Ben-Gay and squoze the entire contents onto the face of the neighborhood cat. Would you think any less of me? No? Egads, man!!