dick

This past friday saw the U.S. vice president pay a visit to the state of New Jersey. Greeted by a tepid response to his introduction, Dick-TX147 attempted his favorite joke to loosen up the crowd. He adhered a caterpillar mustache to his upper lip, curled one side of his bionic mouth into his trademark sneersmile, and gave the 'heil hitler' salute. To his uncalculated dismay this only resulted in continued ennui by the indifferent general public.

"I am in what you humans would call good spirits", the half-man half-android snarled. "My (former) organization, Halliburton, has received over $10 billion of no-bid government contracts in the Middle East, and reports indicate robberies and assaults on Mexican & Salvadoran immigrants are at an all-time high in your state." "Violence is good. I use it, rather than food, for fuel", he/it continued. "The federal goverment's power and size are at all-time highs and your pathetic civil liberties are on the decline. Resistance is futile."

When these comments were met with further lethargy by the gathered crowd, Cheneybot's cybernetic eye flashed a bright red.
"Your refusal to respond does not compute; it brings my mandrill blood/WD-40 plasma suspension to a boil in my carbon-fiber reinforced veins," the mechanical man threatened in a monotone. "Perhaps time spent in a detention center with electrodes attached to your genitalia while being stacked in pyramids of naked humanity will teach you." The humanoid's guards then proceeded to corral all those who did not chant, "USA. USA." and display their magnetic yellow ribbon ID badges.