This just in!!

Last night the PAX network aired the award for the GMA 'Praise and Worship album of the year' and the winner was Offering II. I dunno if that's a band or an album but, woohoo! I didn't stick around to watch the band's thank yous (I'm guessing god was mentioned in there somewhere, just a hunch) cuz it was also Vince Carter's debut with the Nets and commercial breaks only last so long.

meeting people

When I'm conversing with people for the first time (strangers, friends of friends, etc.) I kind of like to put on a show, you know, to impress them. But it's nothing like 'using big words' or 'being funny' or that kind of stuff. It's more of a 'Punch and Judy' type of thing. With puppets of course.

merry xmas 

Hummer for Men

Saw a leaflet ad for a cologne named "Hummer for Men". It's in reference to those useless-for-civilian Humvees. But why would anyone think that'd be a nice scent??

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
by Langston Hughes

rumblings

...meanwhile, deep within the bowels of Skywalker Ranch studio...

George Lucas: "Underling! Get me LDP on the phone."
lackey: "LDP, sir?"
GL: "Lou Diamond Phillips, voice actor extraordinaire. He shall be doing voiceover work for the next DVD release of Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, & Return of the Jedi"
lackey: "which characters will he be dubbing over sir?"
GL: "ALL of them. Except for Jar Jar Binks"
lackey: "Jar Jar? But he isn't in any of the first 3..."
GL: "mwaahh ha ha ha ha ha haaa!!!!"
lackey: "Gadzoooks!!!"
(laughter, screams, echoes fade into darkness...)

How to ruin a serene evening

You know a good way to taint a nice quiet night of star-gazing, searching skyward for meteorites? How about some neighbors' ridiculously loud and shrill dogs barking incessantly? The only saving grace probably will be if these mutts attack a child and then are sentenced to death by some local judge. But boyo wouldn't that be a treat! Bad dogs killed AND annoying kid injured, culling the human and canine flocks in tandem! The possibility dizzies me with rapture...

the definition of naïve

In college a buddy* of mine was pledging a fraternity and was busy trying to convince us to do so as well. When asked why, his response was, "C'mon! It's free beer and 50 instant friends". Need I even mention that it was, in fact, not so? (well I just did anyway) Sadly, these are the life lessons we all must go through, though some much later than others. As long as you learn from 'em I guess.

*not quite a friend-friend, 'buddy' is the de facto word of choice for post-collegiates as it, like ska, was nowhere to be found pre-university. 'Chum' is too old-fashioned and conjures images of rotten-fish sharkbait, and 'bro' is too Homie and thus tends to scare off the non-wigger Caucasian sect.

My life, in Venn Diagram form. 

It's crunchtime!!!

Parents, I cannot stress to you enough the importance of teaching your children the difference between 'crunchtime' and 'lunchtime'. Granted, they sound similar but ignorance is no excuse. Last week my nephew was in the huddle during the latter stages of a tight football game. When the coach bellowed "it's crunchtime you nancy-boys!" nephew proceeded to take a seat and chow down on a ham sandwich. In the aftermath he and our family could have died from the overbearing shame which practically dangled over our heads like a bread and baloney Sword of Damacles. Ok. I made up the entire story and I don't even have a nephew, but better safe than sorry right?

Oh to be bitter

I wanted to post something cynical (don't let my youthful façade fool you for I'm a bitter old man inside) but the weather's nice and I just played a good bit o' hoops so, alas, today everything's roses.

the black widow

Not talking about Jeanette Lee this time (though she kicks ass). I'm referring to Sonya K. Thomas the Black Widow of Pro Eating! I'm gonna try some of her prep. techniques before the next time I hit the all you can eat BBQ joint.

Everyone??

'Everybody Loves Raymond'? How audacious. There's not even any room for argument there.

Also, what's the deal with TV channels rushing to air "It's a Wonderful Life" and other Xmas movies days after Thanksgiving? Is there some other huge new holiday coming that's forcing their hand? Maybe they should just merge the two...