"What's hot right now"

An article yesterday detailed a Louis Vuitton handbag: very expensive, extremely limited in number. It's an item to 'set apart the very rich from the merely rich'. Interview snippets with Mr. Frou-Frou Shopowner revealed this paraphrased nugget: "We appeal to very exclusive clientele. It's no longer about the item as much as it is the quantity produced."
That must be so because god was it an ugly lookin' bag. It was like seeing Rosie O'Donnell in handbag form.

After I read the article the first thing that flashed into memory was a television interview I saw several years ago, a roaming reporter gettin' the dirt by querying people on the street. The question she posed to a random Joe Schmoe was "What kind of music do you like listening to?". His reply? "Whatever's hot right now". It really makes me sick to my stomach.

This Liger cub

Looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.

Casual Dining

As everyone on the planet is now aware, save for some bushmen, tree people, & nomads, we've been overrun by casual dining restaurants. For each chain, it's important to establish a unified brand personality that patrons can attribute to them. Forget about the food, the real importance is the character. The interior design, the pseudo-vintage wall hangings & decorations; this is big business!

I realize it's difficult as a consumer to keep track of all this vital information. That is why I've compiled here a brief & incomplete summary of the personality types for several of the bigger name restaurants. A character cheat-sheet if you will:

TGI Friday's - Friday's is like the middle-aged White guy who thought it was supercool to yell "wasssuppp!" when those beer commercials came out. Heck, he still thinks it's cool today!

Bennigan's - The lonely depressed drunk who sits gloomily in the dark corner of the bar.

Applebee's - Country bumpkin who seems friendly enough but is completely inept at doing anything.

Chili's - That office coworker who likes to reference the ethnic portion of his family history even though it was like, 7 generations ago. "You know, I AM 1/64^th..."

Olive Garden - The guido who tries to cop a real 'tude, even though his parents are rich and from Long Island. There's gonna be a 1980's Mustang around nearby for sure.

Chevy's - That Food Network personality who's trying SO HARD to show she's Colombian. You know. Ingrid Hoffmann.

Red Lopster - The person who likes to call himself 'classy'. Uh, saying it and being it are mutually exclusive!

Undoubtedly

one of the most thankless jobs in the world of inanimate objects is being the 'loop' side of a 'hook & loop' enclosure, or Velcro™ as it is known commercially to Joe & Jane Asshole. Because really, what else is required to perform that task other than to be fuzzy? 'Hook' will most certainly be fine without you, clinging to and ruining neckties when your concentration wavers, sticking to walls or perhaps a particularly hirsute Mediterranean man's back, so just quit yer yappin' and be grateful you have a purpose to your existence, meager as it is.

In Other News (hah, 'News'):
Barbara's Bakery - Honey Rice Puffins cereal is pretty damn mediocre. Eating it with bland rice milk did not help either and believe me, it needed a LOT of help.
This is a shame because their Cinnamon line was pretty good and plus, I like puffins. The birds. They look like they've evolved over millions of years to bear an expression on their faces that suggests "I'm up to something". I don't know how that helps perpetuate the species but kick ass!

Finally!

My Cherry Boom CD is in the mail. I ordered it almost a month ago from somewhere China-y. I thought they were up to their necks over there in bootleg copies of everything, so what took so long?

Pure crap

I'm still steamed about it. That Bush pardoning of Libby is so ridiculous it makes me want to throw up. From rage. Can one vomit out of anger?
The guy is full of more crap than this place.

And did you read how many times Bush used the word "commutation" in his statement? He must've gotten a sticker for learning a polysyllabic word. Someone give that guy a swirly.

I'm obsessed

with this Korean band Loveholic's song Sky. And its video. I wonder if it'd be better or worse if I actually understood the lyrics...

Blog Like It's The End Of The World

I've been told to do that today.
That means the zombies are coming and I'm holed up in a Costco blogging about it. If you're looking for me, I'll be decked out in heavy Carhardt clothes from head to toe & steel-toe workboots. I've raided the appropriate sections and am stocked up on beef jerky, energy bars, water, & a hand-cranked radio/flashlight. Axe, some hunting knives (& a machete would be nice) for the zombies and a police baton & a couple guns for the people who'll be losing their shit and trying to take me out. I think I'm ready for this!

What's the Worst?

Everyone loves a top 10 list! So logic dictates that people will nine-tenths-edly love a top 9 list too. Here goes!

What's the worst thing about violently & mercilessly butchering another human being?

1. The cleanup. All that blood everywhere? Break out lots of cold water & seltzer!

2. Having to tell the same story repeatedly to co-workers the next day. (groan)

3. Bad for the environment. You know how many giant trash bags it takes to haul away all of the body parts??! Plastic's not biodegradeable you know.

4. The roller coasters at Great Adventure don't seem nearly as exhilarating afterwards.

5. It's another item checked off of your short "Things In Life To Try" list. Yeah, you're right; this could be viewed as good or bad.

6. You lose all those "supposed" close friendships you spent so much time fostering over the years. Disloyal jerks!

7. It just proves to you again how much you really need those new state-of-the-art, kickass tools. Like neighbor Bob has. He's probably butchering TWICE as many people as you, and with half the effort.

8. And a better car. Maybe a Honda Element. Those doors swing open with no pillar in-between, there's a tailgate, & you can just hose the sucker down in the back. Sweet!

9. It doesn't really taste like chicken at all. Maybe you can make a soup stock with the leftover bones.

Fjord

As I saw several lame-o Toyota FJ Cruisers & Jeep Patriots on my commute to work, I wondered aloud, "What other car model names could they come up with that would just suck?".

Well, for sure, any manufacturer could dub their car the "Fjord" and get a laugh.
The "Rapier" would be no good because hoodlums will just pull off the 'i' leaving the driver to tool about in a "Raper". Also, I think any sort of fruit would not make for a good car name.
It would not surprise me for Jeep to release the "Jingo" either. The "Corkscrew" is terrible too. Because of the 'screw' part. No need to remind car buyers of how the dealership gave 'em the shaft.

I could continue with this all day but, you know, work...

Vince Carter

It was a fun little fling having you as a Net. You're a nice guy but you can't hack it. Peace...

Bible Fight

Good times! Good times!
Lucky I turned on Cartoon Network yesterday...

crossover

What exactly is a "crossover SUV" anyway? It sounds suspiciously like a new, wordier way of saying "SUV".