Everyone loves a top 10 list! So logic dictates that people will nine-tenths-edly love a top 9 list too. Here goes!
What's the worst thing about violently & mercilessly butchering another human being?
1. The cleanup. All that blood everywhere? Break out lots of cold water & seltzer!
2. Having to tell the same story repeatedly to co-workers the next day. (groan)
3. Bad for the environment. You know how many giant trash bags it takes to haul away all of the body parts??! Plastic's not biodegradeable you know.
4. The roller coasters at Great Adventure don't seem nearly as exhilarating afterwards.
5. It's another item checked off of your short "Things In Life To Try" list. Yeah, you're right; this could be viewed as good or bad.
6. You lose all those "supposed" close friendships you spent so much time fostering over the years. Disloyal jerks!
7. It just proves to you again how much you really need those new state-of-the-art, kickass tools. Like neighbor Bob has. He's probably butchering TWICE as many people as you, and with half the effort.
8. And a better car. Maybe a Honda Element. Those doors swing open with no pillar in-between, there's a tailgate, & you can just hose the sucker down in the back. Sweet!
9. It doesn't really taste like chicken at all. Maybe you can make a soup stock with the leftover bones.
Jun 6, 2007
What's the Worst?
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5 comments:
Reminds me to send you some recipes.
This post reminds me of the tv series Dexter.
Geez, you sure have put me off the idea of butchering anyone...
It sounds like just too much trouble. But it's a great list and informative to the thoughtful person. Actually #10 could be having to avoid the victim's friends and relatives for the rest of your life. But I guess #6 sort of covers that.
I was going to do my usual snarky, funny response, but I can't top this. I hate top ten lists with a passion. Great job. Except you forgot one.
11. If you get caught, you have to commit suicide or endure a boring trial. And don't get me started on lethal injection! Bummer!
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