I wish to own a retro-kitsch memorabilia company, the kind that supplies fake old appurtenances to Applebee's and T.G.I. Fridays. What a goldmine! Surely manufacturing counterfeit old stuff is profoundly cheaper than obtaining genuine old stuff. And with a company name and slogan like: 'Unmemorabilia: Pretending to be from 1947 since 2009', how can I lose? I can't, that's how!