Traffic Rules

Here's a quick refresher course for those shit drivers out there too lazy to Netflix the film Moving Violations starring Bill Murray's brother.

-It's only okay to ride up another car's ass in the fastlane, otherwise there's this concept called "passing".
There are 2 exceptions to this rule:
superslow drivers must be chased to the right lane by any means necessary
and in rush hour, tailgating is acceptable in the 2nd leftmost lane as well.

-When you spot a copcar, that DOES NOT MEAN you should slow down 10 miles below the speed limit.

-Sorry gramps, turn in your license. And keys. Because we know you're just going to forget you don't have a license anyway. And you'll forget your glasses. And which pedal is the gas. And...

-And lastly, NEVER STOP YOUR CAR DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF A LANE SO YOU CAN TALK ON YOUR CELLPHONE!!!. And if I ever find you again lanky white guy in the maroon Scion Xa with the county college sticker on the lower left corner of your rear window, I am going to rip your nose off with a pair of pliers.

Happy & safe driving! :)

I forgot what I was gonna bitch about

So instead here's a new rant until I can remember. The YES network blows!! That's the channel that's supposed to broadcast Yankees & Nets. The Nets are currently engaged in NBA playoff games and the channel bumps them for stupid first of the month baseball? In the words of Mark Jackson, "C'mon YES! You're better than that!!". Fuckers.

Reviews of the Mundane: Cereal

Barbara's Bakery Honey Rice Puffins. With my dairy crisis still in full effect, cereal consumption has been seriously curtailed. If the "normal" amount of cereal I eat is akin to the majestic Niagara Falls, then this whole milk problem has been like Humanity throttling the flow of the cascades in his attempt to slow erosion to the great cataract. I love cobbling together shitty similes.

Anyway, I'd remembered the Cinnamon Puffins being tasty and reasoned the Honey Rice ones would be as well. And this is where logic failed me. Perhaps it's because I've had to resort to rice milk and it's rice overkill (doubtful as there is no such thing as "Rice Overkill" to the Chinese), or maybe it just kinda sucks, but I've been pretty disappointed and it's turned into an "eat it so as not to waste food" thing. It's pricy too and not particularly healthy. What was I thinking? Tsk...

Some funny fake news sites

To while away the hours...

The Borowitz Report

The Onion (of course!)

and Humorfeed, an assortment of others.