Sep 29, 2006

Ka-POW!!!!

The majority of my office building is occupied by some sort of Health Care Service. One of the signs in the lobby points towards an "Intoxicated Driver Resource Center". I really hope that when one opens the door for that facility it's just a huge boxing glove on a spring that pops out and clobbers the person. Plus a sign that screams, "DON'T DO IT YOU THOUGHTLESS, SELFISH ASSHOLE!!!" because, really, what else needs to be said?

(the long awaited)Cereal Review: Nature's Path Optimum ReBound
I've been gettin' all healthy-shmealthy with my cereals of late. The healthiest & shmealthiest may well be this cereal which consists of freeze-dried bananas, almonds, flax seeds, raisins, matcha green tea, and all this other organic/oaty/nutty/wheaty stuff. I don't even know what a bunch of it is but it must be healthy cuz there's pictures of marathon runners on the box. Anyways, it tastes great if you just let the bananas rehydrate a little prior to your eating them.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've often wanted a huge boxing glove on a spring that could pop out the top of my car and bonk inconsiderate drivers in front of me. Come to think of it, a huge boxing glove on a spring would be handy in so many situations. I think you're onto something.

I need to slow down my reading. I thought your cereal had opium in it.

Anonymous said...

I think there should also be a boxing glove on a spring that punches the person who came up with the name "Intoxicated Driver Resource Center". It sounds like a place where they will help you find your car keys or something.

The cereal sounds so healthy. In a "there's too much crap in my cereal" kind of way..

Dmonster said...

I'm hoping that once you step into the office, it's just a huge black hole. Then they'll disappear forev.... I mean, of course the boxing glove would be a good idea too. ^_^

I pulled out my teeth and I can't chew for a while. I'm thinking I won't be able to try this cereal at the moment. The green tea part sounds interesting..

Rainypete said...

Actually it's a photoelectric eye. Once they step inside and break the beam a mechanical boot delivaers a near lethal dose of workboot into their posterior region. Upon recovering consciousness they then fiond themselves locked in a small room where they are starpped down and forced to try and justify their actions to a panel comprised of peopel who have lost friends and family memebrs at the hands of drunk drivers.

And that cereal sounds like somthing I loaded into my bridfeeder this weekend.......without the bananas. I don't think birds can buy milk beause they don't have anywhere to keep a wallet..........except maybe for pelicans.

sumo said...

What's the name of the cereal?!!! It isn't Nature's Path Optimum Rebound? I don't think a name like that would sell except at a health food store.