Sep 7, 2006

It doesn't inspire confidence...

driving on the freeway behind a sewage tanker transport truck. Especially one with a port-a-pottie precariously strapped to its back via one bungee cord. "Nosir, I don't like it."

Thumbs down are also in order for when drivers chuck their chewed bubble gum out their windows. 'What's the big deal?' you might ask. Let's just say, once upon a time several years ago, you spent a good deal of your earnings purchasing your first new car. Nothing fancy, possibly a black Nissan, but it was yours and it was shiny and clean. Then, perhaps on the 2nd or 3rd day of ownership, during your work commute in the blistering summer heat, you rolled through a gooey piece of said discarded gum and it sprayed all over your fender and wheel-well causing you to have a massive conniption*. And only after months of bitterness, when your new beauty's bumpers were completely trashed by poor NYC parallel parkers, and your doors dented by old suburban NJ farts parked next to you in the supermarket lots, folks who should've given up the ghost years back, and you realized what true new-car-owner misery was, only then could you ease up on the gum litterbug. But just a little bit, you fucker!
The end.

Moral of the story? I'm gonna git chu, sucka!!!*

*I love the 80's!

I have rebuilt my computer system (again x ∞) this time for good. Right?

8 comments:

Violet said...

I once chucked much worse out the window of the bus I was travelling in. I had a terrible chesty cold at the time, and during the overnight journey I...um... hoiked a ton of goobies which hit the side of the bus and stayed there...

It was in India, and somehow that seemed to make a difference, 'cos I'd never have done it at home.

Anonymous said...

Just for the record it wasn't me. I don't chew gum.
I blame the gum thing on gum manufacturers who only put enough flavor in gum for a couple of chomps..

PBS said...

I hate melted gum (or worse) on the sidewalk in the summertime, too

katie said...

I haven't chewed gum in a long time. Now I want a piece.

Omni said...

My mother once had an encounter with a seagull with diarrhea... it splattered nearly the entire length of her car.

L said...

gum is the worst

Dmonster said...

stepping on gum isn't fun either. especially if you're barefoot... *gags*

Nigel G Mitchell said...

Chucking anything out your window makes you a major loser, unless it's something like fruit or a half-eaten french fry. I consider that feeding the birds.