al-Zarqawi's dead. Hooray! Hooray USA! All is right with the world again and I believe I just saw the ozone layer replenish itself. Right above a new colony of Passenger Pigeons!
Did You Know?
Lesser known than the Patriot Act, but even more important at striking fear in the hearts of Islamist Extremists bent on the destruction of 'freedom' in this world, is the Hooray USA Act which also spawned from the sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Brief passages are excerpted below:
-For the next 7 years 2 months or until a Democrat takes office, it is a criminal offense to criticize the federal government, Texas, or any Tom Cruise or Carrottop movies (G.W. luvs 'em) unless you are a rich White corporate executive. OTHERWISE THE TERRORISTS WIN.
-For the subsequent 2 sports seasons pro athletes may not be referred to as heroes, nor shall they describe the games they play as "wars" nor their teammates as "soldiers". If possible, pro athletes must abuse human growth hormones. OTHERWISE THE TERRORISTS WIN. At baseball.
-Police officers, including meter maids, must be deemed "real heroes". Terrorizing US citizens is THEIR jobs, not some raghead's. O.T.T.W.
-US citizens' vehicles must be adorned with magnetic ribbons. Failure of the owners to do so must result in violence against both the vehicle and the vehicle's owner to teach them allegiance. O.T.T.W. AGAIN.
-Should a leader of an 'Axis of Evil' nation attempt to obtain nuclear capabilities, the president must refuse to engage in talks with said leader. He may only engage in talks regarding "nuke-ular capabilities". O.T.T.W.A.
-US citizenry must continue about their lives no differently than they did pre-attack. Acceptable behavior includes: American Idol or Will & Grace viewing, purchasing teeny dogs or oil-hungry oversized homes & sport utility vehicles (tax breaks provided to those who do all the above), hating soccer, receiving tattoos- lower back suns for women or tribal armbands for men though upside-down Chinese characters acceptable for both genders, truncating names and word structures (eg. Terminator 2=T2, Sept. 11=9/11, Merv Griffin=M.Grif), wearing religious crosses as decorative jewelry. O.T.T.W.
Cereal Review: Kashi Organic Promise Cinnamon Harvest
I must admit I'm starting to like this Kashi stuff. Cinnamon Harvest contains but 4 ingredients!! Organic whole wheat, organic evaporated cane juice, organic cinnamon, & natural cinnamon flavor. It's even certified organic by Quality Assurance International. I have no idea what that means. Since this cereal's not mineral fortified, there's little going on in the nutrients dept: fiber, protein, potassium, & iron. Just as nature intended. I don't recall stories of 6'6" cavepeople living to 110 years old. I'll get my vitamin C from an orange or something. I don't know where the hell riboflavin comes from. Anyway KOPCH is some tasty cinnamon-y shredded wheat. Good enough for this snaggletoothed dying midget.
Jun 13, 2006
computer time will be scarce this week (again)
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10 comments:
Good thing I'm not a citizen. But I guess that means if I let "the terrorists win again," I'll get deported. hahaha
I love soccer. Thank goodness for the World Cup, saving me from utter boredom. Oh oops. I let the terrorists win.
Where...oh where...can I find that cereal?!!! I just bought another kingsized box of Frosted Flakes...I feel so dirty!
Since Kaschi promises the oprganic component is it not in the box? Do they mail it to you when you submit 4 boxtops and a S.A.S.E.?
I think Kaschi is an acquired taste. After you get used to the texture, I think you can appreciate the taste.
Besides, if you buy General Mills, the TERRORISTS WIN!
http://mauricesblog.blogspot.com/
doesn't riboflavin come from blackcurrants? One cereal I don't like is bircher muesli (it's not a brand, just a style). You have to soak it overnight and this makes it all soggy and yucky.
Cinnamon....... mmmmmmmm..... but can't I have a roll instead of cereal?
The Hooray USA Act sounds wonderful. I wonder if it could be extended to include Canada.
I have always meant to buy a box of that Kashi type cereal. They don't even keep it with the other cereals here. It has it's own shelf. I kind of saw it as snooty until you talked about it..
what a great entry. the opening paragraph was all i needed to let out a sigh of relief.
kashi organic promise cinnamon harvest - ive tried it and i like it. i think youre gonna have to make a list of all the cereals youve tried thus far so i can check off the ones ive tried and let you know what i think!
i found the organic cereal in a section AWAY from the cereal aisle. it was weird. people were staring at me like i was an alien...
...but im a u.s. citizen. born and raised in the good ole u-s-of-a.
I should be getting my tax break. Those excerpted sections are funny but too close to true, especially the first one!
Carrot top. Now there is a national treasure.
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