Beetle Bailey Office Coping Mechanism

To bypass insipid office chatter, try the following:
_{A.) Avoid eye contact. If you accidentally do meet someone eye to eye:
B.) Hear his/her sigh & initial gripe about something that, though it sucks, is not interesting at all.
C.1) Respond with a fairly innocuous, barely witty comment.
or
C.2) Respond with a sympathetic profanity.
D.) Elicit a laugh by chortling at remark (C).
E.) Walk away while laughing.*
*I learned this handy tip from reading Beetle Bailey cartoons growing up.}

This post was inspired by the following ridiculous dialogue.

Adidas Yellow Series

I feel I am required by ethnicity to mention that Adidas is producing a Yellow Series of sneaker. Please note the graphic on the tongue. A bit of an odd approach for a company to take, no? If further shoe series include a "little Black Sambo" model and a "red-nosed drunken Irish" model then things are hunky-dory. Otherwise I may be a bit put-off.
The acceptable approach in life, afterall, is "You can't please everyone but you can piss everyone off". And that can be amusing. Anyways Adidas tend to aggravate my achilles.

In other major news! The Battle of Westernized Soy Milk
So which is it gonna be? Silk or 8th Continent? Both have their pros and cons. For instance, Silk's vanilla flavor is subtle but it has that ultra-thick weirdness to it. Like those low-fat milks made to resemble the consistency of whole milk and which fail miserably. 8th Continent's vanilla flavor on the other hand is a little overpowering and it's much more runny. Almost resembling rice milk. Plus it comes in the new 'much more difficult to grasp' bottle shape! Both have been tested on flaky cereals and both passed. However, since rice milk is just one step away from horchata! I give the nod to 8th Continent.

GodhasWheels' Story Hour

Imagine the story of Willie Packer, a Black man trying to break into the NASCAR racing phenomenon. This "sport's" rabid fans, an interesting phenomena in and of themselves, have taken to calling him 'Fudge' due to his skin tone and love of brownies. A nickname of Fudge Packer normally upsets a man because of its derogatory nature, and in public Willie certainly acts affronted, but in private he is a closet flamboyant homosexual and actually relishes the name though it has nothing to do with relish, which he consumes in mass quantities along with the brownies. Now little does he know, many of the established redneck NASCAR drivers are also secretly gay and were initially drawn to the activity because of the homoerotic symbolism revolving around big cars & big engines. Though they distrust melanined folk, that fear would be trumped by their admiration for a man who could outwardly champion their cause within the community. Plus Willie's perty good-lookin'.

And so the wheels are in motion for Fudge to be a true ground-breaker in this bizarre national pastime. Literally, for Willie's day job is jackhammer operator for the city's transportation commission during their massive overhaul of the metropolis' roadways. Find out what happens next as disparate worlds collide due to Willie's carelessness, for while daydreaming about his third interest, astronomy, he accidentally strikes an underground power generator triggering a bizarre magnetic field anomaly around the globe. This sets off a chain of events, not to mention several fires and alarms, that results in the hurtling through space towards Earth of the tiny iron planet named Racsan. It's populated by dark-skinned raging heterosexuals who hate nothing more than car-racing, road construction, & chocolate fudge. Stay tuned!!!

Update:More lawyer letters. Running tally currently stands at 10. Let's see how many I'll get now that I've massacred the family down the street. Enjoy the weekend.

collywobbles

I just like the word. Though, perhaps I've got a bit of it.