Remember,

if you value your movie watching experience, dear god do not read a Time magazine review of the film beforehand!! It can lead only to surprise spoilers and misery. 1940s cinema-goers ready to paint the town red during that trying era, on their way out the door to the moving pictures show, probably glanced in their mailboxes only to be greeted with the blaring headline "Rosebud was his sled!". As the saying goes, Time waits for no Man (to first watch a movie before ruining key parts).

Cereal Review: Quaker's Chocolatey Peanut Butter Crunch
To say I was disappointed would be inaccurate as I've experienced previous failed Cap'n Crunch attempts at chocolate (Choco-Crunch) so I knew what to expect. Plus regular Cap'n Crunch contributed to my "Great Vomit Incident of '85". Still, I love Peanut Butter Crunch and, well, one never knows for sure. Alas, this product rates but a "met expectations". If you truly are hankering for a chocolate/peanut butter cereal kapow, opt for General Mills' Reese's Puffs.

Telltale sign

If a guy calls a woman a 'ho' or refers to her 'jugs' or her 'can', chances are he's a closet farmer. Also check if his boots are coated in manure. In this 2nd instance, if he's NOT a farmer then good god what the fuck is he doing?!!

Here's one of the few jokes I can remember:
This couple had an excellent relationship until one day the man came home from work to find his girlfriend packing. He asked her why she was leaving him and she said she had heard awful things about him.
"What could they possibly have said to make you move out?"
"They told me that you were a pedophile."
He replied, "That's an awfully big word for a ten year old."

And finally, Nets, get your act together! I cannot accept you guys losing to Alonzo Mourning.

6/6/6

To the left is an unretouched newspaper photo of the current pope. Goddamn he's a frightening looking figure! Don't tell me he's not giddy about the impending 6/6/06 this summer.


Extra!
As stated earlier, the Battle of Westernized Soy Milk has but 2 major combatants. However it would be pure folly to overlook piddling insurgents. ZenSoy is one such outlier. For consistency's sake, vanilla was again the flavor of choice. ZenSoy's viscosity falls directly between those of the 2 champs. Perfect! It's "pricepoint" (whew, when did English become such a stupid language?) is lower than both as well. The problem is ZenSoy's overpowering vanilla flavor. It's got "Big Dumb American Palate" written all over it. This brand is probably the soymilk of choice in Hollywood. Still, since it's relatively cheap, one could always purchase a carton of regular & one of vanilla and mix the two. Silk & 8th Continent better not get complacent.